Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Life With a Purpose Week 2

I just got back from my second week of discussion of the book The Purpose Driven Life.
The book focuses on 5 key points to living a purpose in life. This weeks topic was probably the most uncomfortable for me- worship. In a nutshell the point is that we were created by God for His pleasure, and that we are to love Him with all our hearts mind body and soul. After the tape there is a discussion time where questions are posed to the group. It started slowly tonight, with people not piping up, until the heathen of the group spoke up. That's me, in case you don't know me yet. The question was basically "how do you feel about all of this?" The one word answers were happy, comforted, blah, blah, blah. After biting my tongue for a minute, I confessed that this was a sticking point with me. The statement that we were created basically to worship makes me feel a little like God was bored and looking for amusement. I made you, now bow to me! If you are good, I'll let you into Heaven where you can worship me for all eternity!!
Now I will be the first to admit a little self-centeredness, and a bigger than average ego, so the thought of bowing FOREVER is a little off-putting to me. Granted, it does beat the alternative biblical choice, but my (sinful) pride gives me a difficult time with this. All that being said, worship time at church is when I feel closest to God. I was a professional singer in my former life before medicine, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.
After my comments, the discussion took off, and it was nice. I love a debate. I didn't resolve anything, but it felt good to get my feelings out. I have a lot of left-over Christian guilt and it sucks to have all these questions bouncing around in your head, without talking about them.
I'll be back next week with the latest installment of my search for a purpose...

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