Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Life With a Purpose

Got back a little while ago from a small group meeting from my church
that my wife wants us to go to for the next 6 weeks. It is studying a book by Rick Warren called The Purpose Driven Life. It is basically a study on how to find God's true purpose for your life, and how all the little things in your daily life don't matter without a focused purpose. This is predicated on the fact that you are sure that there really IS a purpose to our existence. I struggle with this issue daily. I was raised in church and have a good solid religious family. I say my prayers most nights. I thank God for the little things as well as the big, and I ask for help and guidance when I need it. At the same time I'm doing that though, the realist/scientist or whatever in me asks if it's not all a big farce, just a way that we humans try and make sense of our pathetically short existence. I sure hope its not. I keep waiting for the thunderbolt that will take my doubt away, but so far it hasn't come. I feel a little like this guy, who blogs about his bible reading experiences as he goes. I just don't buy it all, and I feel guilty trying to pick and choose the parts that I can stomach. In the meantime, I'll keep searching.
I'll keep going with my wife because it is important to her, even if I do feel like a fraud sitting there. Hopefully by the end, I will have become a little less self-centered and material oriented, and have a newfound purpose in life. It could only help my marriage , and maybe, in the end, my soul. If not, maybe I'll at least make a few new friends. We'll see.

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